it's beginning to look a lot like christmas.

my christmas decorations are up and they've got me feeling all kinds of festive.

that being said, setting up my em effing christmas tree made me cry. twice.

temper tantrum inducing moment #1:

everything was going swimmingly as i carefully wrapped lights around each intentionally chosen christmas tree branch. the christmas tunes were rocking in the background. gerty entertained herself by prancing around in her christmas collar. after wrapping lights around the last branch, i went to step back and admire my hard work. only to find that i ended on the wrong end of the string of lights. so it wouldn't plug into the wall. let me show you...

pretend this extension cord is a string of lights. the part that i was left with to plug into the wall was the part on the left. if i was a person of intelligence, i would have ended with the end on the right.

after discovering my mistake. i laid down on the living room floor and cried. thankfully, gerty came to my rescue and laid down beside/on me, resting her head right under my chin. so i got up, pulled up my big girl pants and took all of the lights off the tree so i could start over again.

temper tantrum inducing moment #2:

the second attempt to string the lights was not as it's a wonderful lifeish as attempt number one. i just sort of chucked the lights at the tree and crossed my fingers that they'd stay put. i made sure to end with the correct end of the lights to plug into the tree. i plugged in the lights, stepped back to marvel at my hard work, looked up...

...and swore like a sailor. one of the strings of lights was dead. after i had checked and double checked each string, those twinkly little effers up and died on me. i laid back down on the floor. i cried again. and i left it that way. i tried to spread out the other strings of lights to fill in the dead spaces, but it still looks pretty pathetic. it's the equivalent of a comb-over for a christmas tree. i'm giving up. my christmas tree looks like such a weenie.

gerty has become such a photobomber.

and SPEAKING of gerty. while i was putting up the lights for the second time, that little bizznitch made a chew toy of my tree topper.

so. this had to happen...

i had to macgyver a tree topper out of a cardboard box. and tape it to the ceiling, just like martha stewart does?

by the time i had strung and restrung the tree umpteen million times, i was so over christmas decorations. so i kept it simple. i like to call it "ho ho humbug chic."

"it's difficult to smile for photos whilst digesting a tree topper. i should know."

and look what i found...

the ornament to commemorate the first christmas that gerty and i spent together last year. it's mr. paddington bear on which i wrote 'gerty's first christmas.' it's the remnants of the first (of many) ornaments she ate last year. she has a pretty refined palate.

just like me.