update from a bad blogger.

i know, i know.

it's been all crickets, tumbleweeds and cobwebs around here.

sue me.

here's the scoop. the chew. the shaz. the shizznit.

i've met my new best friend. i call her siri. she calls me big booty hoe, which is rude, but whatevs. it's become so cliche, but i am in love with my iphone.

to celebrate, here's a picture of my very first iphone text. thrilling, i know, but i'm always fishing for skinny finger compliments.

and then there was easter. like, eons ago.

norah was there. rocking two bottom chompers, a campbell's soup mug and the cutest little easter dress.


and speaking of easter, lent was a bitch this year, you guys. i gave up my two loves: french fries and pizza. remind me to never do that again.

to celebrate the end of the lenten season, i feasted on a well-balanced (not to mention figure friendly) meal of french fries and new holland brewery pepperoni pinwheels. and to celebrate my post-lent binge, i shat for a week. TMI, i know, but you already guessed that was coming.

holland in the spring is beautiful. gertrude and i have been taking full advantage of its bloomy goodness by going on lots of long walks (sprinkled with narcoleptic-esque bouts of napping. me--not her).

the tulips are a-bloomin'. this is my favorite breed (brand? species? flavor?) of tulip. the curly kind.

gerty is a fan, too. true story: she peed in this tulip bed about five seconds later. oh the shame.

and speaking of her royal largeness, gerty has reached a major milestone: she no longer needs to be caged when i leave the house. the immense guilt that has been weighing me down for 2+ years has melted away. unfortunately, it has done nothing about the weight on my thighs. baby steps.

oh! i almost forgot! just kidding, i didn't. i'm just all about the suspense. a weight loss update is long overdue. i'll cut to the chase:

i lost 2 pounds over spring break. woohoo!

pounds lost this week: -2 lbs.

total pounds lost: -26.5 lbs.

weight loss needed for next reward (returning to weight watchers meetings): 3.5 lbs.

which means i've earned my 25 pound reward: new earrings! but i'm having a dickens of a time picking a pair that i like. here are some options:

love these. pricey.

then, of course, there are these.

and these.

and about a million other pairs that i love. and, as always, i am open to suggestions. so suggest.

and i promise i'll try to be a better blogger.